Vulnerability

In preparation to head home from my workplace a couple of days ago, I stood up to close the blinds in my office. Shortly after standing up, I felt a bit dizzy, nauseous and week in the legs. It was as if someone threw a thick blanket over me. I was unable to remain standing. Fortunately, I sort of fell right back into my chair. I have had spells of lightheadedness before, but this was far more intense.

When I fell back into my chair, I had enough wits to get ready to call 911. I do recall a few moment where I teetered between the notions that this was just some type of episode that will pass and the possibility that I might be having a stroke or similar event. Then there are those terrible few seconds that pass by without having a sense of how things were going to go. Fortunately, things cleared up after about 30 seconds. I no longer felt dizzy or weak. The nausea remained. I waited about 15 minutes to make sure everything was OK and then drove home (in the right lane in the event that there were more episodes).

Events like these are reminders that a higher entity is really in control. Sure, I might be able to impact many things and people in my life. Ultimately, I have no control over whether or not I will live another day or die right now. This can be discomforting to some. However, people that recognize and embrace the fact that they are not really in control seem to be the happiest and healthiest people.