Off To The Races

We recently had a friend visit us for several days. My wife and I had not seen this friend for many years. We were glad to open up our midwestern home to our east coast guest.

Although the visit was wonderful, we did have some culture clashes. Our guest lives close to Washington, D.C. and argued that most crime is committed by black people - no joke. My wife told me that our guest never use to feel that way. My guess is that our guest has become jaded by family members' perceptions (as well as those of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity) of crime and its causes in the Washington, D.C. area.

However, I was pretty disturbed by the attitude of our guest. My hope is that our guest will have the opportunity to interact with many black people and come to the realization that we all strive for the same things: a good future for our children, a bit of security, food, employment, etc. The different challenges we face, not our skin pigmentation, play a role in how we view these goals and how best to achieve them.

LOCUSTS!

The other day, I happened to be driving on the eastern side of Wisconsin. While approaching the metropolis of Oshkosh, the sky darkened dramatically. However, there was not a cloud in the sky.

As I carefully glanced upward, I could see at least 20 large objects flying in the sky in what is best described as aerial chaos. Welcome to the world of the Experiemental Aircraft Association's annual AirVenture (http://www.airventure.org/about/index.html). Objects in the sky that I could see in one quick glance included helicopters, fighter jets, WWII bombers, flying parachutes, small planes and others. I am always amazed at how the air traffic controllers can contain this aerial chaos.

I wish all the EAA fly-in participants a safe event.

The Right Places At The Right Times

It has been an eventful few days for your humble blogger.

Last weekend, my wife and I, at the last moment, decided to visit my elderly mother that lives about two hours a way. My mother had not been feeling well and spent most of the day on Saturday resting in her bed. My wife or I would check on her every hour or so.

At about 3:00 pm on Saturday, we heard someone yell, "Hello". My wife and I thought someone was at the front door. We figured out it was my mother. I found her on the bathroom floor with blood on her head. She was very confused. After I was pretty sure that she did not break anything in the fall, I carried her to her bed and called 911. Paramedics arrived within a few minutes and determined that she would need to go to the emergency room (against her wishes).

The first instance of being at the right place at the right time: Had my wife and I not felt the need to sneak in a visit, my mother could have been on her bathroom floor for days.

At the same time that the paramedics arrived at the house, two men arrived to install high-speed internet at my mom's house. On the evening before, she agreed to give high-speed internet a try (after many years of urging from family members). So, we took advantage of the opening and scheduled installation the next day. Somehow, amidst all of the commotion, high-speed internet was installed.

The second instance of being in the right place at the right time: Having high-speed internet at the house makes it possible for me and my siblings to work from my mother's house. It allowed me to stay at her home for several extra days.

On Tuesday, my mother moved to a hospice residence. There is a possibility that she can return home if she continues to show improvement. When my mother moved into the hospice residence, there where three openings. On Thursday, there were no openings.

The third instance of being in the right place at the right time: Needing hospice care at a time when it was available. Had my mother's recovery required a couple more days of hospital care, the hospice option would not have been available.

My mother is not out of the woods in terms of her health. She is elderly. She has lung cancer. She has a major urinary tract infection. She has pneumonia. However, her health is improving.

Even if she passes away in the near future, she will have had the opportunity to spend her final days in peace and comfort. She is and will be at the right place at the right time.

A Missed Opportunity

Earlier today, I attended morning Mass at my parish. After Mass, I noticed that a former parish staff member, a member of a major womens religious community, was giving a tour of the church to two other Sisters from her community. I stopped to say hello to the Sister that I knew and to introduce myself to the other two Sisters. I learned that they had just been on one side of the state for a retreat and were returning to their motherhouse on the other side of the state. On the way back home, the former staff member wanted to show her community members the church where she had been involved in religious education.

I provided an update on what was going on at the parish. When asked about what was going on in my life, I mentioned that I continue to discern a vocation to the permanent diaconate in a diocese that has yet to embrace the ministry. To my astonishment, one of the other Sisters said, "I don't think you should have the opportunity to be ordained until there are deaconesses".

How does one respond to that? I was so stunned that I really could not think how to respond. However, the sense of being stunned has worn off. Now I lament the fact that I missed a wonderful teaching opportunity. Here are a few ways I could have, and maybe should have, responded:

• "Well, I believe that everyone should have the opportunity to discern and pursue God's call regardless of gender, age, etc. I would hope that you feel the same way and would encourage people to prayerfully respond to God's call".
• "That response shows an attitude that creates a challenge to active consideration of the ordination of women. The 'if I can't have it, then nobody should attitude' is selfish. All of us should do what we can to create environments that allow the gifts every single individual has to be fully utlized to help build the Church. If an individual is treated unfairly, that is no reason for them to want to deny others the opportunity to act on God's call. While my diocese does not have a formation program for permanent deacons, I rejoice with and pray for aspirants, candidates and deacons in other dioceses. At the same time, I pray that my time will come. You should do the same".
• "Obviously, you have not embraced what was presented in your recent retreat. If you had, you would not have made that statement".

Perhaps the most appropriate response would have been a gentle blending of all three of these possible replies.

I'll admit that I was shaken by the Sister's statement. What has helped is that I know several Sisters from the community that has had and continues to have a very positive influence on my family. Many of these Sisters are incredible leaders - in diocesan administration, in parishes, in schools, in colleges, in health care, in serving challenged communities, etc. Many of them would make wonderful deacons, priests and bishops. While I have never discussed the topic with any of them, my guess is that some of these Sisters are frustrated in not being able to pursue a call to serve as an ordained minister. Some of these same Sisters know of my very long and frustrating discernment to serve as a permanent deacon. I know that they are praying for me as I am praying for them - in gratitude for what they do and in hope that all Sisters in their community have the opportunity to serve as God calls them.

Why Males Are So Ys

Yes, that darn Y chromosome can take the credit. Here is a situation that clearly shows how the Y chromosome views the world.

Yesterday, I went to the video store to get my free monthy rental. I am working my way through the American Film Institute's top 100 films of all time. When I mention this to the female clerk, she immediately said that I need to make a change to the list by eliminating "Titanic" and adding "Ghandi" - her personal suggestion.. At about this time, the store manager, a male about my age, joined our discussion. Anyway, I mentioned that I had already seen both of the movies mentioned and agree that "Titanic" should not be on the list. I went on to say something like, "The only major thing that I remember about the movie 'Titanic' is.....". Before I could finish, the manager blurted out, "The propellor guy!!!". To which I replied, "Yes, that is amazing! I am not the only one!".

When I endured the movie at the theater with my wife (I had to endure the movie, not my wife), I tried to stay in touch with the plot between short naps. However, in one of my awake moments, there was the scene where the ship is sinking at about a 45 degree angle. A man falls of the stern. While he is falling, his head hits one of the exposed propellors and makes a loud "dung" sound - much like a church bell. I had a brief period of uncontrollable laughter. I was not alone. There were several other people - all males - laughing. Don't get me wrong. If I saw something like that happen in real life, I would be horrified. However, it was just amusing that such a moment would be included in a blockbuster movie. My wife thought I was nuts.

Anyway, several years later, it was nice to be reminded of the bond between the Y chromosomers.

Comings and Goings - Vatican Style

Let's start with the goings. Pope Benedict XVI has done a major leadership cleaning of the Vatican office that had been responsible for working on ending the schism related to the Society of St. Pius X and other traditionalist groups. The Pontifical Commission "Ecclesia Dei", formerly led by Cardinal Dario Castrillon Hoyos,will now be led by Cardinal William Levada, the current prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (Pope Benedict's position prior to becoming Pope). In fact, "Ecclesia Dei" as a Pontifical Commission will now be under the structural umbrella of the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith. For a Catholic News Service article on this, go to: http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0903122.htm.

Only a few short hours ago, President Obame came to the Vatican to meet with the Pope.

Early reports indicate that Pope Benedict may have sharper diplomacy skills than the vast majority of his fellow bishops in the United States. For a Catholic News Service article on this meeting, go to: http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0903167.htm.

A Grand Finale

Even though I was getting very sick of the ongoing coverage of Michael Jackson, I did go out of my way to watch the gala tribute to him. While I did not come close to crying at any time while watching the tribute, I was truly moved by the event. Perhaps, like many people, I was expecting an "over-the-top" spectacle. It was touching to see so many different people remembering how Michael Jackson had an impact on their lives. The most touching recollections came from people that made little mention of Michael Jackson the entertainer, but focused on the friendship they had with him.

I hope Michael Jackson has now found the peace he never had the opportunity to achieve on earth.

The Race Is On

Michael Jackson or Elvis Presley? Both were (and are) entertainment icons rcognized by their first names. Both died very young. Drugs contributed to their early deaths.

I heard many people call in to talk radio programs. It seems like the race card has been played. Many black callers were claiming that there is a racist conspiracy when it comes to media coverage of Michael. They claimed that the coverage has been negative because the white-controlled media does not want to knock Elvis from the position of #1 all-time pop music icon. Some white caller emphasized that, while Elvis had his faults, he wasn't a child molester. I am sure many people are poised to make some money from this battle of the pop icons.

Stepping away from the race fray, here is an interesting tribute to Michael Jackson from Trinity Episcopal Church in New York City. The musician is amazing - listen for "Beat It" and "ABC". A tip of the cap to Deacon Greg Kandra for this video.

Sudden Losses Compounded

The phone rang this morning before 8:00 am. When the phone rings that early, it is usually not good news. The call this morning fit that pattern.

The call was from my wife's sister. She was calling to let us know that their brother's father-in-law died yesterday. At nearly 80 years old, Jerry took his own life.

Jerry's wife of over 50 years died suddenly in May of last year. He never recovered from the loss. In the past couple of days, I have read articles about ministering to widows and widowers. All articles mention a similar pattern. There is a period of deep pain that usually lasts about 6 months. One to three years after the loss, a deep sense of loneliness usually sets in. My guess is that Jerry was struggling with loneliness, even though he had regular contact with family (they lived in the same small town). The articles mentioned that widowers often have a more difficult time than widows - partly because there are fewer widowers that can support other widowers.

We saw Jerry a couple of weeks ago. Physically, he looked fine. However, family members expressed concerns about depression and even suggested seeking professional help. However, Jerry felt he could "ride it out".

Please keep Jerry and his family in your thoughts and prayers.