Hot August Nights

...are now followed by cool August mornings. This very morning, while walking our beloved canine in the park across the street, there were patches of frost-covered grass. Frost....in August!?!?!?

A Turning Point

The millions and millions of people that read this blog know that I have been discerning a call to be a permanent deacon in a diocese that has yet to fully embrace the ministry.

Several months ago, I might have been considered a friendly pest. Every now and then, I would write a letter to our Bishop. I'd send an e-mail to our diocesan vocations director every few months. Although they did not urge me to go away, they never offered much hope that there would be a tangible way for me to pursue the call.

Something changed a few weeks ago. I don't know what happened or who was involved. Earlier this week, at their request, I met with two diocesan leaders. While things have not reached a point where hard commitments can be made, it is obvious that there is some support to take some action to make it possible for men in our diocese to pursue a call to the permanent diaconate. It could be that training takes place in a neighboring diocese. It could be that there might be ways to utilize technology for distance learning. There was even discussion of attempting to see if some of the credits I have received from various courses I have taken might be able to be applied toward permanent diaconate formation and decrease the time it might take for me to be ordained.

Perhaps this change in attitude is the result of the work of the Holy Spirit and the intercession of my recently deceased mother.

The Lion Rests

The death of Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy marks not only the end of the Kennedy era in Amercian politics, it marks the end of an era of "genteel" politics. I have a fairly close friend that served in Congress for several years. This friend was a very right leaning Republican. He had the opportunity to work with and against Senator Kennedy on many issues. My friend said that there were many people that vehemently opposed Senator Kennedy on many issues. However, my friend said that virutally everyone respected Senator Kennedy. While Senator Kennedy certainly had his human failures and made many mistakes, he was a person that genuinely cared for all people, including political opponents. My friend mentioned that, whenever a Member of Congress experienced the loss of a loved one, Senator Kennedy always sent a personal note and often made it a point to attend funeral services. He would often make an effort to visit the grieving families. Senator Kennedy put forth most of these efforts outside of the public eye.

It should come as no surprised that even Senator Kennedy's most bitter political rivals are mouning the loss of a man that genuinely cared for people as individuals.

The Fairness Doctrine

I have been having an e-mail conversation with a friend. When I informed him that my mother recently passed away, he said something to the effect that, even though her death was expected, it was unfair. He said he dreads the inevitable day when his mother, currently active and healthy at 83, will pass away.

There is nothing that is fair in life. I say that from the "glass is half-full" perspective. Was it fair that I was born into an upper-middle class family? Was it fair that my parents supported my education through college? Is it fair that I have been fairly successful in my personal and professional life? Virtually everything in my life has been and continues to be a gift. I don't deserve my family and friends, but I have them and they are stuck with me.

When someone close passes away, it is difficult. However, to say that it is unfair is like the person that says nothing when the cable company continues to provide service without charge for many years after that person moves into a new residence. Perhaps three years later, the cable company realizes the error and disconnects the service. The person thinks this is unfair. How can he live without CNN and the NFL Network?

Our lives and the lives or others are all gifts that we do not deserve, but have been given.

No Need To Become Unglued

Please bear with me as many posts will relate to the recent passing of my mother.

As I continue to experience the many things that happen when a loved one passes away, it is becoming obvious that my mother was really the glue that kept family relationships going. She was not so much of a matriarch - a hub through which all family communications must go. She was more "behind the secenes" and would give gentle hints about birthdays, anniversaries, special events, illnesses, deaths, etc. The implied message was "it might be nice to call or send a card".

When I called my uncle - my mother's brother - to let him know about my mother's death, his final words during the conversation were "Remember, we are still a family".

I have a niece that is living in another country. She has expressed concerns that, now that my mother has died, she may never see any of her aunts and uncles. She has already been assured that her aunts and uncles plan to be there for important events in her life.

Perhaps biggest honor that my siblings and I pay to my mother is to not only keep the family relationships going, but to put forth an active effort to make those relatiosnhips stronger.

A Final Goof

To honor my mother on the day after her death, my oldest sister and I went to my mother's favorite resaurant for dinner. The restaurant is across the street from a cemetery where my youngest sister, who passed away 40 years ago, is buried. During dinner, my oldest sister mentioned that my mother was worried that nobody would put flowers on my youngest sister's grave after my mother died. So, my oldest sister and I did the noble thing. After our meal, we went across the street to find my youngest sister's grave and check on the flowers.

We faced a couple of challenges. Neither one of us had visited the grave for several years. However, we thought we had a pretty good idea of where it was in the large cemetery. The second challenge was that one of us had a couple glasses of wine.

We drove to where we were sure her grave was. We looked around.....and looked around......and looked around. We drove around a section of the cemetery several times. One could almost hear my mother yelling, "You dumb*%#!s! The grave is the same place it has always been!"

While we were very bothered that we could not find the grave, we gave up the search. The next morning, I called the cemetery office and was assured that they could show us on a map where my youngest sister's grave is located. We stopped by the office, they showed us on a map - it was right were we had looked the previous evening.

We drove to the section where we were the previous evening. It didn't take long to find the grave. There was a flower urn resting on it (it is a flat gravestone) that made it difficult to see (even for the one of us that was sober).

My mother is undoubtedly sharing the story with her heavenly friends about her two children's goof.

The Right Places At The Right Times, vol. 2

On Sunday afternoon, my mother passed away. She had been fairly ill in recent months with several maladies. In recent weeks, the decline in her health was fairly dramatic.

I had planned to travel to her home, about 125 miles from where I live, on Sunday and stay until Monday in order to help her take care of some financial transactions. I had a busy Sunday morning. I had to play the organ at an early Mass and cantor at a later Mass. After the later Mass, my wife and I went out for breakfast. While at breakfast, we ran into a friend that was picking up a cake for a family gathering to celebrate her stepdaughter's upcoming wedding. The friend invited my wife and I to stop by. I figured I would stop by on my way to my mother's house.

Immediately after departing my house for my mother's house, I had the feeling that I should skip the pre-wedding celebration. I also skipped a usual stop at the outlet mall where I regularly stop to look for some bargains. For some reason, I felt it would be best just to get to my mother's house.

As soon as I entered my mother's house, I sensed something unusual. I knew that my oldest sister was there. I immediately headed to my mother's bedroom. My mother was asleep in a hospital bed and my sister was comforting her. My sister announced to my mother that I had arrived. My mother stirred a bit, but kept on sleeping. I could tell it was a slumber from which she would not awake. Forty-five minutes after I arrived, my mother breathed her last breath. I was so glad that I didn't stop at the pre-wedding celebration or the outlet mall.

My sister and I cried - perhaps more out of relief for my mother than sadness on our part. My mother ended her earthly journey on her own terms. Fortunately, God and she shared the same terms. My mother died very peacefully at home with family members close by.

A Different Sort of Read

Yesterday, I returned home after a week-long vacation. I had a stack of mail waiting for me. Included in that stack were several weekly and monthly Catholic publications to which I have subscribed for years. I was excited to see the first issue of my subscription to the weekly English summary of L'Osservatore Romano, the official newspaper of the Holy See. Other geeks might have their fantasy sports. But give my my Vatican!

One thing that struck me right away - the writing in L'Osservatore Romano is far different than the writing in the U.S. Catholic publications. The writing is blunt and pretty easy to read. The articles tend to be pretty short and focus on basic information. I think this difference relates to the differing perspectives between people in the U.S and people elsewhere. In the U.S., we tend to think that the borders of the world are comprised of the Canadian border, the Mexican border, the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean. We also tend to think the history of the world began with the discovery of the Americas. U.S. media is developed in this environmnent.

It is refreshing to read a weekly publication that is developed from a different perspective - one that sees the U.S. as one of the many geographic locations in the world and one that sees U.S. history as a small sliver of world history.

I Should Have Gone On Vacation Earlier

Things always happen when I am on vacation. This vacation is no exception.

We are in a remote area that gets very spotty cell phone coverage. I noticed that a call was coming in from my pastor. However, I could not answer it due to the spotty coverage. When I checked my voice-mail, there was a message from my pastor indicating that, after years and years of applying gentle pressure on our Bishop, he has finally agreed to provide the opportunity for me to pursue a call to the permanent diaconate in our diocese.

I have been interested in the permanent diaconate for many years. In fact, I have been ready to apply to a formation program for many years. Unfortunately, there has been no activity related to the permanent diaconate in our diocese since the only class of deacons was ordained over four years ago.

While I have been sending the Bishop letters for years, I cannot take the credit for this turn of events. Credit goes to my pastor, a well-respected priest that has sent letters of support to the Bishop. I can also thank the diocesan vocation director that, after meeting with me a couple months ago, developed a strategy to approach the Bishop with a plan that would make it possible for me to enter a permanent diaconate formation program in a neighboring diocese, but return for ordination and serves in my diocese. The key may have been that the vocation director convinced the vicar general to support the plan.

Being on vacation and somewhat out of the communications loop, I feel like a kid that can't get to the presents underneath the Christmas tree until a few days after Christmas. I don't know what letters might await me when I return home from vacation.

A Whole New World

My wife, dog and I are on vacation in the far northern portion of our state. We are staying in a little one-room cottage on a little lake.

I had the first "I guess we are not in Kansas, anymore" moment just after we first arrived. Looking up into a tree, I saw three squirrels at play. Seeing squirrels is not extraordinary - we have thousands of them where we live. However, the squirrels at our cottage are jet black in color - not the usual grey.

It is always interesting to be drive just a couple hours a way and see things that you never see where you live.

Put In His Place

I will try to explain this without naming names.

Last night, I watched a weekly news show on a major Catholic television network. The host of this show is quite the arrogant blowhard. He was discussing the efforts to bring about health care/health insurance reform. Being unabashedly supportive of one party, the host was decrying how foolhardy it is to try to bring about reform and that reform wasn't needed.

Then the host brought on a senior staff member of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Now, the USCCB is no bastion of liberalism. This expert exposed the host for the blowhard that he is. It actually reached the point where the host was forced to choose between his partisan prejudices related to health care reform and the USCCB position on health care reform. The host chose the former. When the segment ended, the host had the famous "dear in the headlights" look.